4 weeks, 6 days old

Part I: Baby gap sucks and other wardrobe malfunctions

I was talking to Kate yesterday on the phone in advance of her trip to DC this weekend. At one stage she laughed and gasped at my admission that I cannot put clothes on my son that require me to have to put something over his head. I’m sorry, but it’s really hard. Why do they make clothes more difficult than others to put on newborns? It should be snaps and zippers only! I am sure in a few weeks’ time I will look back at this and laugh. However, like bathing, getting a wriggly worm newborn into certain positions ain’t easy.

Also, he’s between sizes and only has a few items that are 0-3 months – as in not newborn and not 3 months, but specifically 0-3 months. One of those outfits was a hand-me-down from baby gap which looks adorable, but is, in fact, evil. I’ve made a few attempts to get it on him and today I was determined. Take that Auntie Kate! I shall get this over his head and not kill him or give myself a heart attack.

So after an epic diaper change. (An aside: Sometimes these are events consisting of initial diaper change, race to clean and cover before…damn it! Pee geyser! Clean that up, change clothes, change changing pad cover in some cases, get a new diaper, get it on him and then…ferrrf. Giant poo. Today it was three ferrfs before I could get the final diaper on.)

Once this keystone cops of a diaper change subsides, I get out the outfit. I fling it over his head (ok, no, it was a gentle tug, but I just decided I wasn’t going to wimp out.) Head through. Arms through. Lots of squirming and a couple of angry yelps. And then it’s on and I’m button up (similar to a surgeon’s close I am sure.) Then I get to snapping the buttons by the feet. This should be no problem, only this dumb outfit (dumb dumb outfit) has weird little feet units that try as I might I cannot shove Austin’s feet into. So he’s snapped into this dumb outfit except for his feet. I’m not going to take it off of him, due to the stress AND the fact that the other 3 outfits that fit him right now are in the washing machine. So I put socks on him and voila he is dressed in this dumb outfit.

Sigh.

Part II: the gift that keeps on giving

I have already written about how generous people have been to us since Austin was born. I did not expect that nearly 5 weeks in this would show no sign of letting up. Today alone, we received the following:

A visit from Stacy and Avery, where Stacy brought coffee, muffins and two toys for Austin. Geoff and Stacy literally give us a baby gift or two a week!

A home cooked meal delivered by Kitchkat thanks to Cora, Inti and Kate. A delicious lasagna, black bean soup, cous cous and chocolate brownies from scratch.

A giggle outfit from Alex Tanaka and Hope, which is clearly some super hipster company that makes hipster baby outfits. This one is adorable and the best part: it’s 0-3 months. I will put it on him the second it is out of the washer!

So why on this Thursday before Austin’s 5^th week are we still being showered with gifts? I don’t know, except to say that we have surrounded ourselves with amazing people and I feel blessed.

Part III: Development update

The Aus-man follows you with his eyes when you talk and sing to him! It is very rewarding. He does have a slight dent in his head from favoring his right side. Sigh. We are working to rectify this, which requires tummy time and neck stretches. Also he  is fussy these days and kept me up for a better part of the night. I am told this peaks at 6 weeks. 

Back to the better news...at his 1 month appointment he weighed in at 10 lbs, 11 oz!! He is in the 75% for height, weight and head circumference. Hayden takes this as a sign he will clear 6 feet tall someday (eyeroll).  Also this week he took his first bottle from Hayden. He didn't even hesitate, which made mommy a little sad.

1 Month: quiet wonderment

Austin is one month old today.

Everyone says that having a kid changes your life, you never know love like this, etc. etc. This is true, as far as I can tell four weeks into it. But it’s not quite as dramatic as I thought. I feel these things with absolute certainty, but it has been a quiet, gentle discovery of my feelings for my son.

I’m sometimes amazed at the grandparents’ reaction to Austin. They are in l-o-v-e; all four of them; without hesitation and with great aplomb. They are practically tackling strangers on the street to show them pictures of Austin, bragging about his unequivocal handsomeness (objectively speaking of course). 

This is true for extended family too. Hayden’s Grandma draws strength and joy from pictures of this little guy. My Aunt Beth and my brother are genuinely smitten and go extra lengths to let me know this. And let’s say nothing of the outpouring of affection, support and GIFTS from loved ones and friends of loved ones. Amazing.

My feelings for Austin are locked in with utter clarity, but how I feel about these feelings does seem in contrast to the gusto from the others. My theory on this is that our relatives have been parents for a while. They have come to terms with and embraced this wonderment of parenthood: this life is yours to celebrate, to worry for and to raise. For now, I am a student of these feelings, observing them as they arrive and reflecting on them as they settle in me.

Without speaking for him, I think Hayden feels similarly. He came home from work the other day in the foulest mood instigated by inane proposal writing and unrelentingly bad weather. Austin was having an awake and playful moment and I told him to stop everything and hold his child. Hayden said he would, but continued to stomp about the house, reading mail, sorting through various household items. Finally I just placed the baby in his arms. In seconds it all melted away. Within minutes he was brutalizing versions of “Take me out to the ball game” and “Doe a deer.” Without looking up, without thinking about anything but Austin, he practically purred, “hey Jess, I think ‘Take me out to the ballgame’ is his favorite.”

outake from 1 month photo shoot

Stretch

It is hard when you have a newborn not to think about the future. At the same time, panic strikes me as I think he’s growing up too fast. This push and pull will no doubt continue throughout Austin’s life. His dad does this hilariously. He speculates on Austin’s future – from the type of tennis player he’ll be (like Federer obviously, because whether he will be a tennis player isn't up for a debate...now) to how he’ll be so bored of his parents’ banter and find us terribly tedious when he’s a teenager. This morning Hayden said to me as I was changing Austin’s diaper, “look how muscular his legs are. That’s muscle, right?”

Well, I’m not sure if it’s muscle or pudge, but what I do know is that it has changed since he was born almost 4 weeks ago. Ahh! I can’t believe he’s changing so much. His cheeks are now super chubby in that perfectly baby way.

We are on the precipice of saying goodbye to his newborn onesies. He’s in his second favorite today, a brown striped number with monkey feet. Tomorrow I will dress him in his favorite (and by his favorite, I mean the favorite of his dad and me): a green striped number with monkey feet and a monkey patch on the butt. I look at him now and see that the material is stretched. Hayden asked, “Can he even stretch out his legs all the way?” I feel a little guilty about this. I think he can. He doesn’t seem uncomfortable. Just…one…more…day of these onesies…

A more practical a growth issue is buying new diapers. Environmental fretting paused in favor of mental health, I’m making sure we have ample supplies of diapers, but this has led to a debate about how many to order. We went conservative and got a couple of small packs of size N. He went through those in a week. So I ordered a big box of N. Shortly after placing the order, I noticed that the N diapers are becoming snug. So now I guilty stretch these diapers over his belly and hope that they are not too tight to cause discomfort or the dreaded diaper rash.

Developmentally, these are exciting times. I put Austin in his swing yesterday and saw that he was noticing the soft plush birds rotating above him for the first time. His awake periods are longer and he focuses on things a bit more. How exciting when he gazes at me. If I stick my tongue out, he mimics me. What a great little reward! Or as Hayden would say, “he’s clearly in the highest percentile for babies in the newborn mimic category.”

Other outfits going the way of the dodo: