Should we buy a Vegetti?

Today I turned my son’s vibrating chair toward the tv. I am ashamed.

It turns out that at 13 weeks*, babies notice TVs and it keeps them quiet for a while. He’s literally watching The Chew right now. Eek. I have caved on this (formerly judged) pathetic parenting tactic, because in the last two days Austin has cried every time I put him down. He’s been really cranky one minute and then giggly the next. It’s been long days since we returned from New Orleans.

My theory is that he has learned to nap on the go – in a stroller, on an airplane, in a car. So hanging out in the house isn’t quite as exciting or filled with white noise. He’s watching a vegetti commercial right now – should I buy one? Terrible! Yet, I can keep typing AND I don’t have to feed him. Yesterday it was every two hours and not a minute more between feedings. Although he did sleep from 9:45pm until 3:45am, which is a miracle…a miracle that was sleeping in the bed with us.

I read somewhere that kids don’t sleep through the night until they are teenagers, so why am I panicking? It just seems astounding to me that there’s not a magic bullet solution to this sleep drama – I’m calling it a drama.

When we went to Cape May, NJ two years ago, I thought my friend Cora was a nutball about keeping her daughter’s sleep schedule. I said things to myself like, “I’m not a mom, so I don’t know, but I hope I can be a little more flexible.” What a jerk! Now I get it. One clings to one’s schedule as if one is clinging to a spindly branch dangling over a cliff for two chief reasons: it is good for baby and (this one may be more important) it is good for parents. It is peace of mind and it is a major accomplishment. Like a baby figuring out his hands, a parent figuring out a sleep schedule is the Holy Grail.

Perhaps if I keep writing about it, I will find the Holy Grail. Methinks not so much.

*He's 14 weeks today, but he started noticing the TV last week in New Orleans.

Austin goes to the Big Easy

Hi guys

Just wanted to send a quick note to say that all three of us made it to New Orleans. I dropped Jeter off at our neighbors at 6:30 and then we took a cab to National. We breezed through security and found our gate. Nobody even asked to look at Austin's birth certificate though he did get lots of smiles. We were first to board both our flights and just wheeled him down the jetway and then folded up the stroller and then checked it at the door. 

Jess carried Austin in her lap most of the way. When he got fussy she fed him and he went right back to sleep. One couple next to us said "my you have such a good kid". Despite everything being on time the trip felt long and we were tired by the time we got to out hotel room. We are staying in a huge Sheraton right at the edge of the French quarter. It is comfortable and easy. 

We were starving when we arrived so we went to a seafood restaurant called Deanie's. It was fantastic. We had BBQ shrimp, soft shell crab sandwich, fried cat fish and oyster meat and a bread pudding for desert.  We washed it down with some local brews. We walked a bit through the quarter and came back and took a nap. My first impression is that New Orleans has a very raw gritty feel to it. You can definitely spot the tourist from the local. There is some seediness to the quarter but also some beautiful historic buildings. It's a real foodie town so Jess is in seventh heaven reading about all the restaurants.

Tomorrow we will go to a cafe in the morning for coffee and brioche and then go to Slidell to visit Jess's great uncle Mutzi (Jess doesn't know his real name and met him when she was five for her grandfathers funeral.) We will also visit the graves of her grandfather great grandfather and great great grandfather. Should be an interesting day.

More later. 

Love,

Hayden

87 days

After an exhaustive 30 minutes or so working out in his activity gym, Austin is drifting to sleep. At just over three months we have some semblance of a rhythm to the day. He still eats every 2.5-3 hours, but we have figured out how to plan around it. I may run an errand, if Hayden is home. I may take longer if I have pumped a bottle. (On pumping and bottles, it’s not seamless, but we’re figuring out.) Once he eats, he needs a few minutes for burping and a milk coma. Then he comes to life and wants to stretch out and play and kick and, best of all, smile and laugh. After treating the dangling giraffe and elephant and bumblebee like Mohammed Ali’s punching bag, he starts to get a little grumpy. He wants to sleep. His nap length depends, on what I’m still not sure. Sometimes I can get him to sleep in his crib (the elusive crib.) Bed time is coming along. I can usually put him down when we are going to bed and he’ll sleep in his bassinet until his first feed. Last night I fed him at 9pm and he didn’t wake for another feed until 2am – wow! He’s in the bed the rest of the night.

I guess what I want to write about is the fact that every time we try something new, which is almost everything, I have this feeling of heading down the rabbit hole. Whether it’s the 8 hour car ride to Asheville (no problemo) or walking through a crowded bar with a baby on the way to the patio to eat out (college kids do yield to babies) I realize two things about this: 1. We survive, and 2. This is life (L’Chaim!)

Letting go is not easy for a control freak. But I think it’s best not to say I’m letting go (and not condemn myself to control freak status all of the time), but to reassure myself that this is how it goes. It’s ok to walk out of the room when he’s with his dad and a bit fussy. I don’t have to try and fix it. It’s ok to feed him earlier than usual if it keeps him happy when we’re out. It’s ok to take him to a very (very) loud baseball park. If he’s not crying, he’s ok…even if he was a little freaked out by 34,000 fans singing one of his favorite songs: Take me out to the ballgame.

Watching him grow has been amazing. He’s probably close to 15 lbs by now. He can hold his head pretty well. He mostly still hates tummy time, but he’s better at it. He is starting to grasp things. His Lamaze Bumblebee is the best early toy – he loves it, especially when it’s dangling from his gym. He smiles when prompted (during good mood bouts) and best of all, he laughs. This morning I was giving him kisses and he put his hand on my face while smiling. I think it was our first mutual cuddle.