Fireman is silly

"Fireman is silly" is officially being recorded as Austin's first sentence. He has said a few others recently, marking 21 months as the point at which this skill has arrived. This is most memorable sentence, however, because of the association. We were watching television with my parents Thanksgiving weekend and watching Eddie Murphy receive the Mark Twain prize. They played a lot of old clips, which were hilarious, including a clip from "Delirious." We were all laughing hard and Austin looked at us and looked at Eddie Murphy, who was bedecked in his famous head-to-toe red leather suit and made a very astute observation: "Fireman" (clearly Eddie Murphy because of the way he was dressed) "is" (a verb!) "silly" (because he is making mommy, daddy, grandmom and pop pop laugh.)

His speech is amazing. He will say or try to say anything. But increasingly, so is his his grasp of more complex things. This morning he insisted on pouring his own cereal, which is REALLY annoying. I let him pour the dry cereal, but drew the line (at the high risk of temper tantrum) at pouring the milk. Luckily for me, he attempted to lift the milk and ceded the responsibility as he realized it was "heavy."

Amazing how quickly cognition develops. Of course I already mentioned the temper tantrums, which are frequent and dramatic. The other day he fought me to keep his coat off and then fought me to keep it on and all the while he was screaming and crying really heavy tears. I mean the kid was absolutely beside himself with devastation. I hear it's only four more years of this.

But he is truly a joy and so freaking cute. His blond curls abound and he hugs and kisses and says I love you all the time.

Progress at 19 months

I haven’t blogged about Austin in a while because we haven’t gone anywhere too exciting or he hasn’t presented any major or interesting milestones lately. But I thought to challenge myself on the latter, because every day we are astounded by new leaps and bounds by Austin.

For example, although he’s been mostly a quiet kid in his 19 month tenure, recently Austin likes to say “hi” to strangers. I couldn’t for the life of me get him to smile or engage with even his grandparents without coaxing. I would always have to warn people that “it takes him a minute to warm up.” Or I would have to refute people who said how shy he was. “He isn’t shy, but he is cautious.” So now, I’m the one who is stunned, when on our loooong dog walk around one block, he waves at passersby as if he’s the mayor of 15^th street.

He’s also become at once clingy and independent, which drives me nuts. In the past, if I tried to slip from the room he would cry a little until he was distracted, sort of like a goldfish. Now, however, he remembers and expresses his betrayal with temper tantrums. On the other hand, the dog walks that I mentioned are brutal for moi. Since I can’t sneak out of the house anymore, he comes with me, but refuses to sit in the stroller or proceed unless he has the leash in his hand, unassisted. This is super cute in photos, but super stressful in reality. I’m constantly praying that Jeter, who enjoys the extra slow pace because he can sniff every single piece of grass in Washington, DC, will not bolt at a squirrel or another dog or child or whatever. This would mean Austin could either get knocked to the ground and/or Jeter would be on the lam.

I also continue to be astounded by how verbal he is. Austin attempts to say all words. “Bye-da-ball” is still in the mix, although he says “bye-da-ball” for basketball and seems to use “bike” for bike more often now. He says “soccer ball” and “kick it.” He is learning to string words together too, so when he looks up at a plane in the sky he says, “plane, up.” And, in line with the aforementioned bolder friendliness and affection, he gives hugs and kisses on demand and says “I love you” when prompted.

Finally, in the gene game, while it’s too early to tell if he will get some rhythm from his black heritage, I am pleased to have spotted early signs of “HPS.” HPS (Huber Positioning System) is an internal exacting sense of direction that I inherited from my dad. Austin knows where his house is, he knows where Kyle’s house is and last night he pointed out the little plastic piggy on the stoop of an otherwise unmemorable house, because he remembered it was there from the day before. Yes!

"Bye-de-ball"

It turns out that basketball and bicycle can be the same word. This is so for Austin, who is devouring language these days. He first learned to say "bye" for bike and "ba" for book. In recent weeks he has been practicing his hard "k" sounds. He is a bit like a rabbi as he says "bookkkkk" now, exaggerating the "k" with a good dose of Yiddish phlegm.

Of course, we knew he would be a talker when he started saying "Jeter bad boy" at 12 months. But now, it's so exciting to see him want to communicate everything in words. He isn't quite ready to speak in sentences, but wants to. This funny little Tolkien-esque language comes from his lips interspersed with words he can say. "Mama, que que mew mew bye de ball" I can't really do the phonetics justice, but I suspect he is asking me if I would like to join him in a pick up basketball game or perhaps a bike ride.

He repeats words almost instantly, although the words he decides to repeat vary. Hayden was trying to get him to say "yellow flower," because we just started working on colors, but he didn't. But then he seems to have gotten animal noises down, peering at his spoon with a cow on it he suddenly said, "moo moo." We decided to have fun and teach him "cheers," which he loves to do and especially associates it with his dad.

So, at first we thought, "bye de ball" meant basketball for the hoop he acquired this summer and sure enough he says "bye de ball" when he sees the hoop or if he catches a glimpse of a basketball on ESPN. But he also uses it repeatedly, and I mean repeatedly, whenever he spots a bike and so we realized that "bye" for bike had been replaced with his preferred, "bye de ball," or "bicycle." Every bicycle that goes by is greeted with "bye de ball," including motorcycles and really anything with wheels.

I read an article about a linguist who recorded his child's language as it emerged and has a lovely time lapse film that shows the evolution. Sounds cool, and it has been enjoyable to watch Austin's language rapidly progress. But who has the time for time lapse? Consider this my anthropological and linguistic short cut!

"Mama"

Austin started calling me mama when he turned 16 months. I knew this day would come and tried not to take it as a sleight when he said "dada" (all babies say that first) or even when he said "Jeter bad boy," at 12 months. In fact I bragged about that one, because it was impressive that a one year old was using a phrase already. 

I never doubted Austin's affection for me. Although he couldn't say it, it has been clear that my ranking in his life is quite high :)

And now he says mama. He says it mostly when I'm not around. I suspect he is saying it right now to Hayden, because I am away on Haiti for a couple of days. Now that he says mama unfortunately it is a very clear reminder that he knows I'm not around.

Yet, it is another leap in his rapid development. We spent a wonderful week in Asheville and literally saw him growing each day. He is eating with utensils and even insists on it. He suddenly loves the car and to illustrate this point started saying "car" over and over again while trying to climb in. When we tried to deflect his interest by saying we needed the key, he started asking for the "keeey."

This past weekend we had a barbecue with Hayden's peace corps friends. They all have kids around the same age. I noticed that the girls who were older were using cups to drink and I was amazed. So I decided to give it a try with Austin. He very eagerly grabbed the cup and promptly poured water all down the front of him. For an extra measure, he then dumped the cup completely over onto the ground.

Perhaps we're not quite there yet.

The terrible 1s

It behooves me to highlight some non-perfect Austin moments too. In my quest to ever be self-aware, I don't want to look back on these blogs and only have the good moments on record, like everything was perfect.

Austin now has temper tantrums. And he has hit me, Hayden and the dog a bunch of times.

When I witnessed his first tantrum, probably around 13 months, I thought I was mistaken. I said no to something he was doing (likely splashing about in the dog bowl) and he put his head down on the floor. Now he does this and screams. He is not interested in heeding the word "no," if he has a better plan in mind.

Of course, I immediately googled this to figure out why it was happening so early. It turns out it is right on time. Kids Austin's age have temper tantrums. So already at his young age, I've got to outsmart these crazy movements: refusing to be put down, letting his entire body go limp, letting his entire body go rigid, screaming without consolation, etc.

He hit me for the first time last week and I tried to pretend he didn't do it. When it happened again, I looked him deep in the eyes and implored him to stop. "No, Austin." When he did it again, I half begged and half reasoned, "Austin, you are hurting mommy." Then I saw a look in his eyes I have seen many times in another kid we know around the same again. Complete, almost vacant disdain. I had not reached him.

So now I simultaneously google remedies and worry that spoiled brat behavior has become irreversible and entrenched. I am reminded of my previously sunny blogs about milestones and am reminded that this too is a milestone. Temper tantrums are about asserting independence and authority, as well as understanding attachment and affection. Hitting and tantrums are also about frustration in an inability to communicate. So, we understand and we correct and he learns. He is growing and this too is part of it.

The end of the boob era

Yesterday, when I picked Austin up he looked at a passing fire truck and said, "wow." This seemed like the most natural reaction in the world, and it was, except that he had never said the word "wow" before. He nailed it! Indeed, a fire truck with lights and sirens on deserves a "wow."

Milestones are passing like lightening these days and I haven't had time to reflect on a big one: the end of breastfeeding.

The first day and for a few days after I returned from Tunisia (see The Separation) I stayed away from Austin at bedtime and sunrise, because these are vulnerable nursing hours. Indeed, on that first morning he came into bed with us early in the morning and turned toward me on instinct. We shared a moment I will never forget. He looked at me and I looked at him. He leaned in a little. I leaned out a little. If there is such a thing as a baby wink, Austin gave it. His face told me what his subsequent behavior confirmed: he accepted this new, post-boob reality in stride (well, and with a little insurance of more pacifier time to be safe.)

I then went through two weeks of agonizing engorgement. But that too has passed and I'm left to think about this whole experience.

I do believe nursing is the incredible bonding experience that mothers say it is and I enjoyed it once we got the hang of it, which was not easy in the beginning. I do not feel sad. I do not miss it. Truth be told, I feel mostly relief that my worse fear of Austin asking to nurse using actual words will never happen. Although it happened "cold turkey," we were working up to it. I shad topped the god forsaken pumping nonsense back in February. I HATED pumping. It is demeaning, messy and time consuming. Shame on the industry for not finding a better way. I digress.

Austin wasn't receiving pumped milk during the day for some time. Prior to Tunisia, I was worried about evenings and mornings. But on the first day that I was gone, Austin did not seem interested in the bottle Hayden offered him. I knew he was ready.

It is sometimes still a little awkward between us, like when I pick him up at the end of the day. He used to rush to me and start nursing before I was barely in the door. He knows he should not do that now so he hesitates when I arrive. Sometimes he ignores me or walks in the opposite direction. Once I scoop him up, though, all is forgotten and we move on.

Last night, at the dinner table, I passed Austin his water bottle and he said, "thank you." I was floored. It was perfect. The milestones march on.

PS I spotted a top front tooth. I repeat I spotted a top front tooth coming in finally!

Exhale

Well, Austin's Orchiopexy surgery is over. He did amazingly well. He came too after the surgery and was grumpy (I can relate.) When we got home, around 10am, we all took a monster three hour nap.

When Austin awoke he was in a great mood. The sun was shining and it was warm so we went for a walk. It was St. Patrick's Day and we just happened to pass an Irish pub. We sat down and had a few celebratory pints. Austin was in great form and ate a lot. Amazing.

My mind and body went from wound up and stressed to relieved as soon as he opened his eyes. I could literally feel the tension leave my body once the surgeon, Dr. Hseih ("shay") said all went well. In addition to the planned intervention, which went perfectly, the doctor also had to fix a hernia that is common with this procedure. Huh. I guess he needed it.

Children's Hospital in DC was pretty good. As with most medical facilities, the administrative part was terrible. Lots of down computers and snippy receptionists. On the latter, I started to get quite indignant and then I re-imagined that the terseness was perhaps a coping mechanism. Perhaps these women were steeling themselves against the steady stream of sick kids and stressed out parents. Perhaps. Although Hayden pointed out that the nurses and doctors don't act that way.

In any case, the doctors, both Hseih and the anesthesiologists were great. All were very calm and confident. They shared exactly what they needed to try and ease our minds and the anesthesiologist actually carried Austin in her arms to the OR. He cried but a minute when he left my arms. He recovered quickly when he spotted a bouquet of balloons. They administered laughing gas that knocked him out immediately and then administered the general anesthesia and a blocker, like an epidural, for pain.

We were called to meet the doctor an hour later and he told us all went very well. We were brought back to see Austin about 20 minutes later. He was still knocked out hooked up to all the monitors which showed stable vitals.

When the blood pressure cuff turned on, he woke up and was none too pleased. But he nursed and when we left about 30 minutes later, he let Hayden carry him out.

And then we got home and all was well and we all passed out, including the dog.

A PS - Since I have yet to post this, I might as well add a little update. Austin is still recovering quite well from his surgery. That's the good news. But over the weekend, red spots started appearing all over his body and worsening and growing. He had a fever and was up most of Sunday night. Another trip to the pediatrician revealed the ear infection was still there and was now in the other ear (despite 9 days of antibiotics.) It also turns out that he may be allergic to penicillin, hence the hives and high fever (it was 103 when we were at the doctor's office). Poor baby. He is now on another antibiotic and Benadryl and Tylenol. This seems to be helping though. He was improved this morning. The red splotches are subsiding a bit. He was a little warm, but otherwise he ate well. And he is back to issuing his favorite commands: "Daddy!" "Jeter, bad boy!!"