Fishy Fish

"Mama bear" is, at least for me, an affectionate and deeply accurate description of a mother's love for her child. I am an avowed and proud mama bear.

Therese, who came back to babysit last week, laughingly teased me about the difference between her first day with her new family and with us. She said she found it odd that the new family didn't call to check-in during the day. However, she also reminded me that she found it hilarious that I rushed in after the first day (during which multiple check-ins were made) and cried out "MY BABY!" I have no memory of this, but it sounds like me.

I also know that if I see a photo of a sick child or hear a story of a sick or dead child I have a visceral reaction. I am immediately overcome with empathy and grief. I literally cannot take it.

To lighten things up and further my point, my motivation for today's blog came from this week's email from Mrs. Mukendi, Austin's teacher. 

"First, I would like to introduce our newest member of the class: Peanut Butter. He is our class Betta fish. The children voted, and the name Peanut Butter beat out other contenders such as "Clean Up" and "Fishy Fish."

I immediately teared up and stood up from my desk at work with the impulse to run to my child. You see, the name suggestion for the second runner up, "fishy fish" was clearly a suggestion from Austin, who's very own Fishy Fish was recently flushed out to sea. I knew in that instant that my child experienced rejection. He lost the competition and I couldn't help him.

There are worse defeats, 'tis true.

Indeed, he will survive this setback in the popular vote.

We did not discuss the anguishing loss when I picked him up. In fact, I asked, "how's peanut butter?"

Austin got a big smile on his face and said, "great."

He never need know about this mama bear incident!