One-handed

The waves of motherhood continue to break over me. That sentence has been stuck in my head as I learn new skills related to keeping Austin alive. 

My preoccupation these days is searching for a routine. The closest we come is that Austin eats every three hours pretty much on time (although just this last feeding was 45 minutes early.) I think his behavior changes from day to night, but I’m not entirely sure. I’ve read the mommy blogs about putting the baby to bed at bedtime and I’m like, “what bedtime??” So I know in the coming weeks we need to start focusing a bit more on establishing some kind of bedtime routine.

The other mommy skill I’m desperate to learn and deeply appreciative of is the one-handed do everything routine. In fact, I’m furiously typing this was the luxury of two hands as Austin begins to stir next to me. In a few minutes, I will need to go back to one handed typing, to which I normally resort. I’ve managed to eat with him in my arms, not easy with a young baby who still can’t hold his head up. I’ve done laundry, fed the dog, and straightened up a bit with Austin in my arms or at least needing to be rocked or cuddled in between mad dashes to do anything. In the three hour windows that have become my routine, there is rarely a moment to rest, because when he sleeps, I DON’T SLEEP AND I’M PRETTY SURE THAT ADVICE IS A MYTH. When the baby sleeps, you run around and try to do as much as you can before he wakes, wants food, needs to be burped, changed, tummy timed and cuddled.

I like it though. I like that I’m starting to get to know him. I’m starting to have instincts for his mood (this morning he was grumpy). I have a sense of what he needs when he cries. He does cry.

Right now I’m upstairs with him and I'm starving. It’s 2pm and I usually don’t skip a meal, but today I chose laundry over food. He’s upstairs in his vibrating chair. Can I run downstairs and grab lunch before he wakes?? Risky. TBD...